I can’t imagine death. It’s not that I don’t want to. Every time I try, it just disappears. My mind doesn’t want to, doesn’t let me. I wonder what it’s like to be dead. I wonder what it feels like, no longer to be sad. I wonder if the light goes out. Sometimes I think it’s just darkness. Which I don’t really believe, because it makes no sense at all. Is it a void? Is it nothingness? But when my brain stops, there is no more consciousness. It can well be though, that in my final seconds, I may experience an eternity. It is a mystery.
The absence of the things that bother us, can be appealing. No more pain, stress, anxiety or complications. However, when we take into account that the majority of the world population believes there is some form of life after death, there is a possibility that death does not mean being free of the things that bother us. Even more so, something new could be shaping our experience when you consider the concepts of heaven and hell. When adhering to this belief, one cannot predict what their experience after death will be like – when we would be judged by a divine being, deciding we go to either heaven or hell. Personally, I don’t subscribe to any religion, or religious doctrine in general. I prefer not to believe, as to me believing is surrendering your own thinking, while feeling an ecstatic release of the burden to really try to understand things. Believing in God is perhaps just you being lazy. And believing in an afterlife is like wearing a blindfold. It means you’re sold on the promise that some other people made you. That promise is playing, praying on the masses like bait to fish. Once they get you hooked, you’re in their power and they will tell you what to think, how to act, how to live – by their rules. With the major religions that comes down to subjugating women, because that is what men actually like to do.
Death is a really fascinating topic because it is so loaded with culture, religion, fear and hope. I’m not looking forward to my own death, and I know that as long as I’m alive I will have second chances. That ends when I end.
When we are gone, we are not just gone. We live on in the thoughts, memories and behaviour of the circle of loved ones and friends we had around us. But our brain, which sustained our person, is gone so we can only enjoy that perspective while we live. I want to be remembered. I want to know that I contributed to others, and through that my legacy will continue. So I want to be that person now, who will be still present in others – in a good way – when I’m no longer breathing. And this is my advice to you: be that person, that legacy you want to leave the world, your loved ones, as your contribution to humanity. This will offer you a guideline for life, and help you achieve joy, self awareness, confidence and purpose. Without any need to subject yourself to religion.
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Should you have suicidal thoughts or sentiments, please talk about it with someone. You can call these public services:
in English: 02 648 40 14 (Community Help Service)
in Dutch: 1813 (Zelfmoordlijn)
in French: 0800 32 123 (La ligne d’écoute du Centre de Prévention du Suicide)
